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I’m dreaming of a (insert your ideas here) Christmas
December 11, 2022 @ 8:00 am - 5:00 pm
The festive period is upon us and if you are wondering where on earth 2022 went, you are not alone.
At this time of year, we are exposed to so much “perfection” – images of joy and togetherness, stereotypes of what Christmas “should” look like, what you “should” do during this time – that there is an inevitable feeling of inadequacy and shame if your festive period doesn’t look like it quite shapes up to that.
It is not unusual for me to write about how it is important to see through the illusion of perfection, but this year I have never felt this sentiment more strongly.
Why? Well, because so many of us are feeling overwhelmed and tired, and are still recovering from or dealing with the changes, challenges and uncertainty of the past three years. As a world we have faced global crisis after global crisis and as individuals we have all had a lot to deal with and are still discovering what that means for us.
And that is why I want to shift your focus from that stereotyped, pressurised festive period, to one that aligns specifically with you. I want you to design your very own bespoke Christmas, and I am not talking the colour scheme of your tree or where you are going to be on the day. I am talking about designing this festive period around what you need and how you are feeling. So often we fall back into historic patterns or behaviours, or we follow family traditions just because we always have. But that doesn’t mean that they have served us well and certainly doesn’t mean they will nurture us this year.
Christmas is an opportunity for most of us, whether we celebrate it or not, to have a little “time off life”, to reset, rest, reflect and to get away from the daily chores and pressures we face. But if we fill this time with activities or pressures of another kind, we just come out the other end feeling even more exhausted.
Take time to design your Christmas now, before the temptation just to fall back into habits or do what other people want takes over.
So, what kind of bespoke Christmas will you design for yourself and how do you work out what that looks like?
Review your year
When things happen in life we tend to just carry on and push through, with little time to stop and notice the impact they have had on us. If we don’t take the time to process what has happened, or we are not even aware of it, those feelings and traumas will return in the future, and often in a more significant way. Take time in the weeks leading up to Christmas to stop for a few minutes and note down what you have been through in the past year and what you have faced. How do these things translate into how you currently feel?
How are you now?
Are you burned out or overwhelmed for good reason? Are you feeling a bit lost because of the immense changes you have faced? The predominant themes of your current feelings and the level of your emotional reserves will be a good indication of what you have been through. Maybe you are sad because you have experienced loss, perhaps you are anxious because things have been so uncertain, or maybe you feel like having a break from the pressure of it all because you have had to manage such a lot. What are your “feeling themes” of 2022?
What do you need?
This third part of the equation will be answered in part by the two above. At Christmas time we often put our own needs last. This year, more than any other, don’t do that, put them on an equal footing with, if not before, others. That is not selfish, it is necessary. Maybe you need a Christmas full of joy and socialising and travelling to see people. But maybe you don’t – maybe you just need to shut out the noise of the world for a little bit and sleep and rest. Maybe you need to not have any timetable, perhaps you need to cry and miss someone you love, maybe you need to get creative and have time away from your mind and cook or bake.
Only you can truly know what you need this Christmas and the best gift you can give yourself and everyone else around you after the past three years, is to acknowledge whatever that is and take action by designing the bespoke festive period you deserve.