A heart felt plea!

 

When we begin to listen with our hearts rather than our heads, our whole world changes and becomes softer.

Most of us were born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant place.

The brain has a masterful way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions and categories, devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, as is so clear at this time, we also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything.

Time for a Spring Clean!

Did you enter 2019 with a bundle of intentions and enthusiasm for the year ahead? Perhaps you started the month full of positive vibes, conquered Dry January, started a new morning routine or kept up your yoga practice consistently. Equally though, perhaps January hasn’t actually been all you hoped it would, maybe you’ve been through challenges and change and faced some demons already. Wherever you’re at on this year’s journey though – just keep swimming.

Change Through Challenge

February is often thought of as one of those dark and gloomy months, but behind the cold weather and cloudy skies, there’s an opportunity for profound personal growth. February may be challenging to cope with, but each challenge we face enhances our ability to adapt, overcome, and learn more about ourselves. Each intention we made at the beginning of 2019 was made for a reason, but now we’ve settled into the rhythm of the year, are those intentions still holding strong?

For many of us, there will always be waves of enthusiasm for the promises we make to ourselves, but each time we do something difficult, we get stronger. Each time we’re willing to get uncomfortable we expand our boundaries and abilities. Resilience and strength of character are often the results of having weathered a storm, adapting to what comes our way and gathering new tools for navigating life.

The ritual of doing something uncomfortable or challenging each day  (like taking a cold shower, going for a run, getting up early to meditate, approaching a challenging yoga posture or standing up in front of your work colleagues to give a presentation) all build a strong mind and an ability to overcome bigger life obstacles. The lessons we learn from everyday experience may not seem particularly profound at the time, but they can really be the ones that help us create the habit of being our best selves. The more we repeat these lessons, the stronger the habit of being our best selves is ingrained, and the longer this habit is kept, the more it becomes a firm part of us.

WE ARE WHAT WE REPEATEDLY DO

As philosopher Will Durant once said; “We are what we repeatedly do”, and now American author James Clear is championing the idea of harnessing small daily habits in order to make a big change. And those small habits are really small, just 1 per-cent in fact. He says; “It is so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis. Too often, we convince ourselves that massive success requires massive action. Whether it is losing weight, building a business, writing a book, winning a championship, or achieving any other goal, we put pressure on ourselves to make some earth-shattering improvement that everyone will talk about.

Meanwhile, improving by 1 per-cent isn’t particularly notable—sometimes it isn’t even noticeable—but it can be far more meaningful, especially in the long run. The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding. Here’s how the maths works out: if you can get 1 per-cent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done”. 

Each action we commit to, even if it is a tiny part of our day, all helps cultivate who we are and attributes to the way we feel. The better we feel, the more likely we are to continue the cycle of positive habits. Even if we have a day where that 1 per-cent seems impossible, we can find even the smallest way of creating change – trying a five-minute meditation or focussing an anxious mind with some affirmations and breathing practices.

True happiness and greatness indeed don’t always come from a massive action, but from hard work and committed practice. As even the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali say, calming the mind is the result of persistent and repeated practice, done over a long period of time. (sutras 1.12-1.16) Becoming our true and best selves is a journey worth taking time over, so keep going, keep swimming.

No need to sparkle.

“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.”

– Virginia Woolf (from A Room of One’s Own)

I find that it is always the beginning of a new year which calls to mind Woolf’s assertion that there is ‘no need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.’ The online world can become particularly clamorous in January. It’s not just the messages of ‘new year, new you’ diet and exercise devotion, but also the insidious feeling that everyone else is forging ahead, filling notebook after notebook with amazing plans for productivity and success in the months ahead. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the pressure to hurry and to sparkle, at a time when really, all many of us want to do is hibernate.

I love the promise of January

It’s not that I don’t welcome the fresh start and clean page of a new year- I love the promise of January, the chance to begin again, to learn new things, to plan and to dream. I do have hopes and intentions for the year ahead- one of which is to return to this space, so long-neglected, to reclaim it and reshape it for the stories that I long to tell you.

This may not be the moment to sparkle and shine

I’m just looking to go gently in these first weeks and months, to remember that I’m allowed to take my time. This may not be the moment to sparkle and shine- which will surely happen for each of us, but only when the circumstances are right. I’m seeking the courage to feel that I am already good enough, that there’s no need, – in fact, there’s no way – for me to be anybody but myself.

When you’re happy, don’t you know it!

READY FOR BLUE MONDAY?

Ready for Blue Monday, officially the most depressing day of the year? It’s apparently due to a combination of the factors: the weather being bad, our motivation is low and that sluggish feeling still hasn’t left us, plus we’re all really starting to feel the pinch after our Christmas spending.
On top of that we’ve probably all dropped our new year’s resolutions and are feeling in a bit of a no man’s land when it comes to our lifestyle.

WHAT IS IT THAT CAN MAKE US HAPPY?

The secret to happiness is a concept that philosophers and psychologists have pondered for centuries. But just what is it that can make us happy?

Some think it is our behaviour, thoughts and attitude that can leave us feeling happy with our lives, rather than simply our situation.

HAPPINESS IS THE RESULT OF CONSTANT EFFORT

The host of the podcast, The One You Feed, Eric Zimmer, recently told Business Insider what he thinks the answer is for a happy life. After speaking with almost 200 psychologists, mindfulness teachers, and life coaches, he said he has realised happiness is the result of constant effort rather than simply thinking positively.

He revealed three simple daily practices that can help you achieve this…

MEDITATE AND BE MINDFUL

Zimmer suggests that honing your mind and practising meditation on a daily basis can help you become more focused, empathetic and aware. Training your brain in this way can open you up to a better understanding of how your mind works and how to enjoy the present moment.

If you have never tried meditation before, a good place to start is by sitting in a peaceful space for a few minutes at the same time every day, remaining still and concentrating on your breathing and only what is happening in the present moment. If you find you get distracted by thoughts, focus your mind back to your rhythmic breathing.

SET YOUR PHONE ALARM TO STOP SOCIAL MEDIA SCROLLING

It’s so easy to just keep scrolling through your Facebook or Instagram feeds, only to find you have wasted a big portion of time effectively doing nothing.

‘We have a natural desire to distract ourselves with our phones, which is not always a bad thing, but you should be consuming something you care about,’ Zimmer told Business Insider. ‘The more we are conscious about how we spend our time and do things that matter to us, the more content we will be.’

The way to combat this mindless scrolling is to set your phone alarm to give yourself a time limit on browsing. Be strict with yourself and actively choose to do something which is important to you instead.

PLAY THE ALPHABET GAME TO STOP NEGATIVE THINKING

The alphabet game can be a useful tool in banishing negative thoughts, Zimmer advises. If you find your mind is turning negative, then go through the alphabet, naming something you value for each letter until you get to Z. This draws you away from unhealthy thought processes.

 

January is a time for quiet contemplation and much needed rejuvenation

As we emerge into a New Year, bleary eyed and three boxes of Quality Street down, the long cold months of January and February looming ahead can seem like a daunting prospect. To some people anyway. I happen to love this time of year. Once the crowds return home and the incessant consumerism ceases, this month arrives as a much-needed pause – an opportunity for rest which I’ve always found refreshing after the decadence and debauchery of December. No forced fun, no five gold rings, no mulled wine or mince pies. Time to breathe.

Of course, there’s the small matter of heading back to work after two weeks of binging and watching box sets. Getting up in what feels like the middle of the night and hauling yourself into the office is never easy – but in spite of the unwelcome crash back to reality, January is still a time for quiet contemplation and much needed rejuvenation. Unlike most normal people, I adore the cold, dark evenings – it’s as if they were made for curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea, a packet of hobnobs and a brooding Scandinavian thriller.

You are enough, you are so enough.

As one of my favourite Instagram quotes goes, “You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are.”

Every year we are bombarded with messages of “New Year New You.” That when the clock strikes midnight on January 1st you have to start transforming into the brightest, sparkliest, perfect version of yourself. Your old self must be binned off with all the mistakes and failings of the previous 12 months forgotten and left behind with your previous inferior self. This is the moment to set the whole tone for the year, to decide how it is going to go and commit fully to pushing forward. It’s completely exhausting.

BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, IS FANTASTIC

The idea that if we don’t seize this opportunity to make the changes we want we might get stuck the way we are for another year, can go straight in the bin. Because who you are right now, is fantastic. Thus far, you’ve done really well. You got yourself to here, to this point, reading this. You have learnt incredible lessons, achieved wonderful things and kept yourself alive on this planet. You got through all of your very worst days, months and years to get to now. This wonderful shiny version of yourself. You don’t need fixing or changing, you just need to know right now you are the best you’ve ever been. Because there is no other time but now and now is where all the good stuff happens.

You are making little changes every single day. There are tiny wins that propel you forward all of the time. We just don’t notice them because we are too focused on the big fat goals we’ve set up for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but the danger is we get stuck on becoming that future self and forget who we are right now. If we’re fixating on becoming an improved version of ourselves, it’s easy to dismiss the current self as inferior or just not good enough.

You don’t have to wait to live your best life. You don’t have to put yourself on hold waiting for things to fall into place. You don’t have to wait any longer to appreciate who you are or waste any more time hating parts of yourself and wishing they would change. Eradicate that feeling of not being good enough by celebrating all of the things you achieve every single day. Self-celebration isn’t about waiting until big massive changes have happened. It’s about celebrating who you are right now and how well you are doing.

YOU WERE ENOUGH, YOU ARE ENOUGH AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE ENOUGH

Rather than looking at all of things you want to change and better about yourself, let’s do a review of things that went well over the last 12 months. Really try and place yourself in the feeling of a certain time and remember something that was really good, no matter how tiny. If it helps to go back over the months and choose one thing from each month, try it that way. I find looking back over social posts or my diary really helpful to remind me what I did. Did you overcome a really difficult morning? Perfected a new recipe (even if it was only an omelette!!?) Got a friend’s birthday card to them on time? Wrapped even one single Christmas present? All of these things added up to your glorious year so let’s honour them. Let’s celebrate all of the things that you did and how brilliant you were in the last 12 months.

Right now you are doing your best. You are the best version of yourself to date. You were enough, you are enough and you always will be enough. So in 2019 don’t beat yourself up for all of the things you haven’t done, instead celebrate the incredible things you do all the time.

And now the reasons why you ought to make yoga part of your routine!

Unsurprisingly, I am asked so often about why I do yoga, why other people should do it, and what it can do for them. One of the first things I tell people is that the reasons that I started and continue to do yoga are very personal, just as it should be for them.

It’s not that I don’t share those reasons when I’m talking with people one on one, but the point I try to make is that yoga is different for everyone.

Yes, there are visible physical benefits to yoga, but for me it quickly became so much more than that. So much more in fact that I retrained to share it with you all! So, as we enter the month of resolutions, how about making one which I predict you may just carry on beyond February.

Here are five of the greatest reasons to practice yoga.

1. Yoga has tremendous physical benefits.

Practicing intensive yoga formats such as Ashtanga, Vinyasa, and other forms of Power yoga will absolutely make changes in your body. You could lose weight, and you will most definitely strengthen and tone.

What you won’t see coming is that as your body grows stronger, so will your mind. You will develop increased focus, patience, and self-awareness. You will probably also find yourself wanting to know more about yoga, which means you will research it, and as a result become objectively smarter, too.

2. Yoga relieves stress.

You will learn to BREATHE differently in yoga and you will learn to use that breath in everyday situations. The saying “take a deep breath” is much more than a saying as you come to understand how breath gives you the power to control your emotions in many situations, including moments of stress.

What you won’t see coming is that you will soon unconsciously be breathing in situations before you react…and that can mean the difference between having an argument and using mental and emotional clarity to reach a solution.

3. Yoga relieves pain.

I want to be very careful with this point, and not to be self-serving as a yoga teacher looking for pay. Yoga practiced under the guidance of a knowledgeable, trained teacher can be used as an alternative form of pain management.

Numerous studies have proven the effects of yoga on patients with back pain, arthritis, difficult pregnancies, headaches, heart disease, and so much more. Even athletes who practice Yin or Restorative yoga will find that their injuries and post-workout soreness will greatly diminish.

What you won’t see coming is that yoga will also benefit “pains” in your body you may not even be aware of. Your digestive system may be energized and cleansed, your circulation could improve, and your joints will become more limber and lubricated.

Plus, yoga can have a positive effect on helping to boost your immunity, which also means less days of pain from colds, the flu, and other illnesses.

4. Yoga can connect you to the Divine of your choosing.

So much of yoga practice is more than just the asanas (postures). The calmness, the calls to relaxation, reflection, and meditation and will soon have you thinking and feeling more “spiritual.” If that is a scary word to you, please just take a minute to keep reading.

Spiritual can mean many things: it can mean being more centered, it can mean being religious, it can mean being connected to the Universe, or it can just mean being more reverent in whatever way you want to be—with nature, with your religion, with your time, with things that have meaning to you.

What you won’t see coming is that you will begin seeing the world around you differently. You will become introspective, yes, but at the same time, you will want to begin bringing more happiness and positivity into your world.

It won’t stop there. Your happiness and positivity will extend out to those around you—and we all know the world can use more happiness and positivity.

5. Yoga will give you 60 minutes of time for just you.

While that may sound selfish, when you really think about it, how much time do you ever give yourself to disconnect and just be? Unless you march to the beat of a different drum and already do yoga, you are probably listening, talking, planning, watching, reading, or typing most of your day.

For 60 minutes, you can step on a mat to breathe deeply into your body to either sort everything out or to let it all go. It’s 60 minutes that will help make you a better person, mentally and physically.

What you won’t see coming is that at first, 60 minutes a few days a week may seem like a long time, but before you know it, 60 minutes six days a week won’t be enough. You will want to realign your life so that you will always have space for yoga.

Time to stop reading and hit the mat!

This year, I resolve to stick to my resolutions! Here’s how!

Are you trying to create a new healthy habit? Piggyback it on something you do anyway. Want to run more? Put on your running shoes instead of your regular shoes, says Dr Sean Young, a world expert in making new habits stick.

This is a strategy he’s created called “magnetic behaviour”. “If we already do something regularly, we can then pair up that behaviour with a new behaviour we want to start doing,” he says. It’s about building a habit, making it easier and ingraining it into your life.

Founder of the UCLA Center for Digital Behaviour, Young has made a life study of successful behaviour change. People who follow his strategies are “nearly three times as likely to change their behaviour as people who did not”, he tells me. His new book, Stick With It: The Science Of Lasting Behaviour, was a Wall Street Journal bestseller when it came out in the US last year.

New Year’s resolutions are a bit like bad relationships

OK, I’m sold. But, for many, New Year’s resolutions are a bit like bad relationships. At first, they’re alive with possibility and potential, and we have a huge fantasy of this being The One that works out. By mid February, they’ve either ended abruptly or fizzled out, and we’re back on the wine or sugar, off the yoga mat or treadmill.

Young tells me how he cured a gym-going relapse. “I used to go to the gym on campus pretty regularly. Then, at a certain point, I stopped going as frequently. If someone would have seen my behaviour, they probably would have said he’s gotten lazy or tired or he’s older now – he doesn’t have time or isn’t as motivated to go.”

If we already do something regularly, we can then pair up that behaviour with a new behaviour we want to start doing. It’s about building a habit.

But the real reason that he didn’t go is because he’d moved office and it now took 40 minutes in traffic to drive to the gym.

His first step was making going to the gym easier. “I joined a gym across the street from my work.” Now, this is the clever bit, the magnetic behaviour: “I carry around a gym bag with me. When I walk to my car every day at the end of work, I can’t go to my car without passing the gym and I’m wearing my gym bag while I’m doing it. What I’ve done is paired a behaviour I do every day – leaving work – with having my gym bag while walking past the gym.” Now, he’s back to being a regular gym-goer.

Can he suggest a magnetic behaviour if you want to drink more water? “If you bring your lunch to work with you – something you’re used to doing every day – then add a water bottle,” he says. Or pair it up with checking social media (I’d definitely have done my two litres by 11am some days).

So, what about a popular resolution to do yoga every damn day? The problem with this challenge, according to Young, is that it’s way too vague.

Resolutions that stick are broken down into small steps

Resolutions that stick are broken down into small steps, which he calls stepladders. “We plan to do all kinds of resolutions that are equivalent to the marathon without having trained for it.”

So, 10 minutes of yoga a day? That’s doable. Now, we need to work out how to make getting on the mat happen.

“Think: what is preventing you? What is getting in the way?” It may be just a question of making time; time we can easily waste on social media. He suggests a magnetic behaviour linked to clothes: when we get changed out of our work clothes, put your yoga clothes next to the clothes you normally change into. (I’m going to try this in reverse: before I get dressed in the morning, I’m going to do 10 minutes of yoga in my pyjamas!)

“The way actually to control our thoughts is to first control our behaviour, then our thoughts will follow.”

Even if you’re the most optimistic of positive thinkers, you can’t rely on that to get you doing whatever new behaviour you want to try, says Young. The only way to change is by doing it. “The way actually to control our thoughts is to first control our behaviour, then our thoughts will follow.”

Start with small, specific steps – ones you can fit into your day

Start with small, specific steps – ones you can fit into your day. Not crowbarring vague or giant or difficult changes into your life – because they just won’t last. Young makes change sound a lot more doable and, this year, it just might be.

10 reasons why you should NEVER do yoga!!

Thinking of taking up yoga for the New Year? Read this before you do as, yoga may seriously change your life……………..

You know, we yoga fanatics tout the benefits of yoga like it is going out of style. For most of us, it is because yoga has so profoundly changed our lives that we want to shout about it from the rooftops.

Some of us actually DO shout it from the rooftops.

But the truth is, yoga does have a dark side. There are some legitimate reasons why someone may want to consider avoiding starting or maintaining a practice. In order to save you from any pain or suffering, here is the list of reasons why you should skip practice.

1. It Will Ruin Chili Cheese Fries

When you have a regular  practice, you are going to notice the effects that the foods you eat have on your body on a whole new level. To the point that you may actually feel like giving up some of your oh-so-tasty but oh-so-stomachache-inducing foods. If you are a foodie, you may want to steer clear of the yoga mat.

2. It Will Put A Downer On Your Late Nights

Getting on your mat after a late night out, or a night filled with one or two too many Netflix episodes may become so unpleasant that you turn into an early bird – both in rising and in going to sleep. Your party days may be slightly numbered.

3. Love Drama? Skip Yoga

It is pretty difficult to maintain a life of drama when you have a dedicated yoga practice. In fact, you may become someone who so enjoys peace that other people stop wanting to talk to you, because you just don’t get sucked into their dramas anymore, let alone your own.

4. It Will Make You Have To Take Responsibility

The mat is generally a mirror for people, and this means you are going to notice all the places you are blaming other people for the things that are going on in your life – and you may discover that it is not really their fault at all.

You may even come to the conclusion that you have the power to stand up and make the changes in your life that will make you happier. If you really like blaming others, yoga may not be that great for you.

5. It Will Suck The Fun Out Of Judging People

Again, where pointing out the faults of others used to be kind of fun, now it just feels mean. You are most likely going to want to spend more of your time talking about all the amazing things the people in your life are doing – which may be a real downer for some of your friends out who still enjoy a gossip fest.

6. It Will Ruin Your Wardrobe

You used to have nice things. Now you just have 1,000 pairs of yoga pants. What happened to you?

7. It Will Make You Cry In Public

If you are not into public displays of emotion, then yoga is most likely not for you. You never know when the teacher is going to say just the right thing, or when you are going to go into just the right heart opener and the water works will be turned on.

8. It Will Make You Feel Your Feelings

Getting in touch with your body means you will get more in touch with your mind, which inevitably is going to lead to your emotions. If you are someone who wants to run from how you feel, you should most likely run from yoga.

9. It Will Open Your Hips, Your Shoulders And Your Heart

The softer your body becomes, the softer your heart is most likely to become. You will be opening the stiff parts of your body, along with the stiff parts of your deepest self. Yoga is steeped in tradition and spirituality – most hearts do not make it out still hardened.

10. It Will Ruin Your Relationship With Anything That Is Self-Destructive

And yes, this includes even the fun, self-destructive things. You are going to connect in with yourself, and start to notice how all your habits are affecting you. This may just ruin all your desires to drink, smoke, swear, stay up late, eat fast food and drive really fast. If you love your life the way it is now, then don’t take up yoga.

Hopefully, you can sense the jest of this post! Of course there are yoginis who still drink, smoke, swear and eat less than optimal food—they just tend to be a lot more mindful about it.

In all truth, yoga can and most likely will change your life. However, you are still in the driver’s seat and can take it at a pace that works for you. Happy Bending!

Why I feel for Cheryl Cole

Whilst admitting to never having watched an episode of The X Factor in my life, I did feel a degree of sympathy for Cheryl Cole who apparently has been watching her recent performance on repeat after dividing opinions on her singing.

MY INNER CRITIC HAS BEEN VERY BUSY

My own inner critic has been very busy as I’ve just co-hosted a big event and found myself, just like Cheryl, replaying my yoga class over and over and asking myself ‘Did they enjoy it?’  ‘Someone yawned….were they bored? (It was a restorative class, designed to release tension and aid relaxation!)’ ‘I’m sure I wasn’t as good as the others’.

If you start counting the times that you hear other women say, “Oh, but I don’t want other people to think that…” in my experience, you soon run out of numbers to count with. Or you can even count the number of times you think it to yourself without saying it out loud. “Oh, but I don’t want other people to think that… I’m stupid… I’m fat… I’m out of my depth… I’m a bad mother… I’m not experienced enough for this job… I don’t know what I’m talking about… I’m greedy… I’ve got no friends… I’m desperate… I’m getting above myself… I’ve got a big ego… I’m too self-promoting… I’m big-headed…” Basically, insert whatever insult for yourself you’ve dreamt up here. We all have our own different ways to end the sentence, “Oh, but I don’t want other people to think that…”

You get the message. There is no end to the things we don’t want other people to think about us. And not only do we not want them to even think these things, but, also, we want to control the likelihood of them thinking them at all. So, often, we censor ourselves completely from doing the things that might mean other people would think these things in the first place.

So, you don’t say what you wanted to say in a meeting, in case someone else might know more than you. You don’t book the weekend away, because your mother-in-law will raise her eyebrows. You don’t apply for the dream job, because you don’t fit every single last word of the job spec. You don’t ask for the raise, because you already had a small raise two years ago (even though you just found out a colleague is on a lot more than you). And you change out of trousers into a skirt, because the trousers made your thighs look extremely large, indeed.

The trouble is, we don’t listen to ourselves when we say either out loud or in our heads – “I don’t want other people to think that… (I’m greedy/I’m up myself/I’m too demanding/I’m selfish…)” If we were listening carefully, we would hear the first part of the sentence: “I don’t want other people to think.” Say that again to yourself: “I don’t want other people to think.” How strange is that? We actually harbour a secret wish that other people should have no thoughts whatsoever, that they should not be allowed to think anything. If we could control them, we would want them to think only good things about us. As we can’t control them, we just don’t want them to think at all.

NONE OF US CAN EVER STOP ANYONE FROM THINKING ANYTHING.

It’s fantastically useful to focus on what a crazy wish this is. None of us can ever stop anyone from thinking anything. They may think all kinds of wonderful and terrible things about us. They may think that finally someone has said what needs saying in those interminable pointless meetings. They may think that you’re brave and assertive to take a break from parenting and that you’re fostering independence in your kids by leaving them for a weekend.  Or they may think that you are the most terrible person they have ever had the misfortune of encountering. The point is: there is no point in trying to control or influence the thoughts of others, as they are entitled to think what they like. And, actually, their thoughts have very little bearing on us and we often won’t even find out what their thoughts were.

LET US STOP INWARDLY TROLLING OURSELVES

The moment we think, “Oh, but I don’t want other people to think that…” is a moment when we are actually trolling ourselves before anyone has even had a chance to say or think anything. Let us stop inwardly trolling ourselves. Let us stop imagining that we can anticipate, prevent or control the thoughts of others. Bring on the next workshop!!