What’s the opposite of sitting? (It might not be what you think!)

What did you think of? Let me guess… Standing?

You’re on the right lines, but the reality is, you have just swapped one static position for another. Neither of which is ideal for long periods when we consider the setting of an office or in the home.

The opposite of sitting is when you actually reverse the flexion of the spine, hip, knee and ankle, open and lengthen the body and take it into extension through movement.

And what is this special movement that is the opposite of sitting? Its walking! Which, alongside my yoga, I love and,  I don’t get my daily walk in, my day feels incomplete!

Walking reverses the effects of sitting by, not just taking the joints to a neutral position like in standing, but moves them in the opposing ranges, and takes the body from a static position to a moving one.

As you know, prolonged sitting is not good for the body. The neck and back aches, the shoulders tense up and flexibility and strength ebbs away. But did you know evidence shows it also causes brain fog, reduced circulation and varicose veins, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, even some cancers.

Walking, on the other hand, engages multiple muscle groups and joints throughout the body. It increases blood flow, improves cardiovascular health, and boosts metabolism. Research has consistently shown that regular walking can reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. It also enhances mood, cognitive function, and overall quality of life.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re in an office environment or stuck inside and walking isn’t available to you, standing up is still a good option. It is better than a day sitting, and alternating a standing desk with sitting maybe the only movement opportunity for you.

I think the very vast majority of complaints that I see in practice are related to people living in an environment that calls you to sit in chairs, be that an office chair, car seat or sofa, which leads to some very debilitating alignment issues. Even the most ergonomic of chairs and desk set ups will not solve this. We are just not designed to sit, propped in beautiful chairs or slumped on a kitchen chair for prolonged periods

In our day to day lives, there is very little stimulus or cue that means we would naturally choose an alternate position.

So, to encourage more walking or motion in the day try to make it easy for yourself by giving yourself lots of new habit-forming cues and reminders. Such as:

1.        Leave your trainers or walking boots in a highly visible spot

2.        Leave out a mat, resistance band or skipping rope

3.        Set a timer to remind you to do the exercise or take a walk

4.        Make a regular time and date with a friend for a walk

4.        Create a floor sitting nook to encourage a variety of different positions even when at rest

All it takes to walk is just takes a pair of good shoes and a willingness to move. Every step will move you from the static to the dynamic, and better well-being, improved resilience and healthy longevity. And if you don’t believe me, Hippocrates, sometimes called the Father of Modern Medicine said ‘Walking is man’s best medicine’. Who are we to argue?!

How much yoga do you need?

I’m often asked ‘how many times a week should I do yoga?’. Well, obviously EVERY DAY but, not everyone has the time, money or indeed inclination to live my yoga dream!! Like most movement practices, yoga rewards consistency over intensity. Many teachers agree that showing up regularly matters far more than the duration or level of each session. With steady practice over two or three months, you’ll begin to notice improvements in strength, mobility and overall body awareness.

Research backs this up. A 2015 study* followed 71 Indian Air Force personnel who completed a daily, hour-long yoga practice for 12 weeks. By the end, participants were stronger and more flexible, with many also experiencing reductions in body weight.

Similar results show up in non-exercisers. In one Harvard-led study, previously inactive participants practised yoga at least twice a week for eight weeks (around 180 minutes total per week). The researchers found improvements in muscle strength and endurance, flexibility and cardiorespiratory fitness – demonstrating that yoga can improve overall fitness, even without a traditional gym-based programme.

For me, the physical side of yoga felt challenging from the beginning. But the mental and emotional benefits showed up almost immediately. I felt calmer, less stressed and more in tune with my body. Yoga has a way of infiltrating everyday life, too: the more consistently I practised, the more I noticed shifts in the choices I made and how I responded to stress.

That experience isn’t unique. Research published in The Journal Of Alternative And Complementary Medicine found that people who practised yoga three times a week for 12 weeks experienced greater improvements in mood and larger reductions in anxiety than those who walked instead. These changes were linked to increased levels of GABA – a calming brain chemical that plays a key role in regulating stress and mood.

In other words, the sense of peace that you’ve probably felt after a class isn’t imagined; it’s reflected in measurable changes in the brain and, over time, in how you feel, move and live. You’ll be amazed at the changes you can observe once you begin to tune in to your body.

Summer Solstice Blessings!

The summer solstice on June 21st marks the longest day of the year, officially marking the beginning of summer. Across cultures, the Summer Solstice symbolizes illumination, clarity, and awakening. Just as the sunlight reaches its fullest expression, we too are invited to step into our light—embracing truth, purpose, and visibility. It’s a time to reflect on how far you’ve come since the start of the year and to honor the inner growth that’s blossomed alongside the natural world.

Spiritually, the solstice is a time of abundance and gratitude. In ancient traditions, it marked the Earth’s ripeness and fertility, celebrated with fire festivals, sun worship, and offerings of thanks. Energetically, it’s a time to connect with your inner fire—your vitality, passion, and confidence. Use that strength to take bold, heart-led action. Many people feel called to set intentions now, harnessing the solar energy to fuel personal transformations, manifestations, or creative pursuits.

Even as the solstice brings radiant light, it also marks a cosmic turning point. From this moment, the days slowly begin to shorten, offering a gentle reminder of life’s natural rhythms and the need for balance. Spiritually, the Summer Solstice encourages both celebration and reflection—honoring the highs while staying grounded in the cycles of change. Whether through ritual, dance, meditation, or community gathering, this sacred moment is a beautiful opportunity to reconnect with nature, spirit, and your own luminous truth.

Summer in yoga is associated with Agni or Fire – this is our internal fire; our drive, our will and ability to transform ourselves and our circumstances – and unsurprisingly our internal fire is linked to the fire of the sun too. Longer days and warmer weather see us out and doing more, our energy shifts from the inward looking quietude of autumn and winter into an outward energy for spring and summer.

Agni in yoga is a wonderful thing – associated with our solar plexus chakra it is all about our personal power, about getting things done. It links to our sense of self, our motivation, our ability to impact the world around us, it is how we create change, it is how we build the lives we want for ourselves. Agni is the element of oneself which leads us to move away from things that no longer serve us in our lives, it is the fire that gives us the energy and determination to get things done. The solar plexus chakra is located around the belly button and is linked to digestion; we take food and water and turn that into the building blocks of our very being, keeping us alive and transforming several days into the energy our bodies and brains need in order to live – quite a remarkable transformation when you think of it!

Unsurprisingly, given this is yoga, we need an element of balance, too much Agni and we end up exhausted, pulled to thin – burnt out. If our efforts and energies don’t have the impact we were hoping for it can leave us frustrated and disheartened. Too much outward energy, too much reaching out without balancing with a little quiet and introspection and we run the risk of exhausting ourselves.

Ways we can work to manage this include some beautifully simple practices. Nadi Shodana, also known as alternate nostril breathing which helps to balance and calm body and mind. Taking quiet time to listen to a yoga nidra or other guided meditations can be really valuable. Cooling and soothing yoga practices such as forward folds and longer yin and restorative yoga holds help bring stillness and quiet. Just slowing down a little to take time to sit in nature, tuning into what you can hear, see, smell, feel and taste can act as a beautiful meditative balm. So, balancing and harnessing your Agni – your will, your personal power is key to avoiding burn out in this outward facing time.
 

 

Once in a Blue Moon!

The phrase “once in a Blue Moon” implies something impossibly rare, but the truth is a little more chaotic. The celestial event heading our way on May 31, 2026, isn’t just a quirk of the calendar—it’s actually the result of a decades-old mathematical misunderstanding that the world simply decided to run with.

No, the moon won’t turn a moody shade of sapphire (unlike a Blood Moon, which genuinely blushes red under Earth’s shadow). Instead, we are tracking a quirk of timekeeping, and this year, it comes with a tiny twist.

How the Blue Moon got its name

The phrase, “once in a blue moon,” has debatable origins. The most popular origin is from the 1528 satire Rede Me and Be Nott Wrothe. In it, there’s a phrase, “If they say the moon is blue, we must believe that it is true.” The line was intended to be absurdist, as in, it couldn’t possibly happen.

However, there’s nothing to really connect it to the lunar phenomenon. It wasn’t until 1937 that the Maine Farmer’s Almanac used it to refer to a second full moon in a calendar month.

Another reason it ended up with the name Blue Moon is that, according to the Almanac, it occurred sporadically, and so it couldn’t be given a season-appropriate name, like the other full moons.
So, as it was rare-ish and random thanks to the twelve-month calendar, it ended up with the name, Blue Moon.

How often does a Blue Moon happen?

Well, it depends on which Blue Moon you mean. There’s the monthly Blue Moon, which happens when there’s a second full moon in a single calendar month (like in 2026), and there’s a seasonal Blue Moon, which is the third full moon in an astronomical season that contains four full moons.

Because our calendar months don’t perfectly align with the Moon’s 29.5-day cycle, these “accidental” Blue Moons pop up roughly every 2.7 years. They aren’t magical anomalies; they’re just the universe outrunning our 12-month calendar. Although there are 12 months in a year, there are 13 full moons. However, as many of us know, 13 is considered unlucky.

What’s so special about May’s Blue Moon in 2026?

While a standard Blue Moon happens every few years, the event on May 31 (peaking at 6:45 pm AEST) carries a rare distinction: it is also a Micro Full Moon. Think of it as the opposite of a Supermoon. Because the Moon’s orbit isn’t a perfect circle, it reaches a point furthest from Earth called its apogee. When a full moon hits this exact crest, it appears roughly 14% smaller and dimmer than usual.

Because it is a Micro Moon, it won’t have that dramatic, oversized “moon illusion” as it hugs the horizon. Instead, it will look like a sharp, brilliant, pocket-sized pearl high in the sky. Small but pefectly formed….just like me!!!

May Day celebrations…and Beltane blessings!

As we greet the midway point between spring and summer, celebrating the ancient Celtic festival of Beltane is a joyous way to invite pleasure and connection into our lives.
Beltane, also known as May Day, falls on the first of May. It is a cross-quarter festival that marks the midpoint between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. In Celtic traditions, it also means the beginning of the abundant, bright, beautiful summer season.

Beltane and the Hawthorn Tree
Celebrations include decorating the May Tree, usually a hawthorn tree, by dancing around it while holding colorful ribbons. The hawthorn tree is sacred in that it represents the three faces of the Goddess. In the winter, it is gnarled and ancient looking, representing the wisdom of the Crone. In the spring, it bursts with beautiful flowers, representing the fresh possibilities of the Maiden. In the late summer and fall, it produces bright red berries, representing the fertility and abundance of the Mother.

Hawthorn is also known as the Fairy Tree, as it is said to be sacred to the fairy folk. Beltane is one of those times when it is believed that the veils between the worlds, specifically the fairy world and our world, thin a little bit. Treating the hawthorn tree with respect and reverence was a good way to keep the fairies on your side.

Beltane, Bonfires, and Blessings for Marriage
Traditionally, May Day was a time to get out of the house and celebrate with your neighbors. Bonfires were lit, representing the new heat and energy of the summer season, and were walked around or even leapt over for good luck and to cleanse any stagnant energy from the winter season. It was also a time for young people to meet and court so they could be wed in June, the month for marriage (named after Juno, the goddess of marriage, among other things).

Beltane is an ancient festival that is sometimes celebrated by modern pagans. But even without the official name and celebrations of this date, the time of year is powerful, and its spiritual meaning is accessible to anyone who is interested in experiencing it.

The beginning of May feels like a gift for many of us. April showers have mostly finished, and the world takes on an abundance of beauty as sunshine and flowers surround us. We are invited outside to enjoy the bright half of the year, which is a time for connecting with the magic of the natural world, especially that of plants, flowers, animals, the sun, and the earth. It’s a time to reconnect with our bodies, the food we eat, the flowers we smell, the sunshine on our skin, and the sensual joys of being a human being in a body.

How to Celebrate Beltane
Even if you don’t want to jump over a bonfire, decorate a hawthorn tree, or throw flowers over your doorstep, this is a wonderful time of year for small rituals that can help you connect with the spiritual meaning of Beltane. Here are some ideas:

Practice pleasure, especially the kinds of pleasures you can access outside. Go for a walk, smell the flowers, and soak up the sunshine.

Spend time outdoors quietly watching the plants, observing the flowers, and noticing any animals that show up—birds singing, squirrels hunting, or even your cat soaking up a sunbeam.

Move. Move your body in gentle, loving, playful, and intuitive ways. Think of melting any stagnant places where the winter still sits within you.

Eat mindfully, receiving the abundance of the earth.

Enjoy flowers. Observe the flowers that are blooming in your area.  Buy some cut flowers (or even better, a plant!) to place in your home. Invite the energy of color, light, and scent into your environment.

Time for a spring clean!

TIME FOR A SPRING CLEAN

Spring is here, and with it comes a sense of relief that we have survived a long, cold and dark autumn and winter. There is always one defining moment in springtime when I notice that change; the sun on my face, the sound of the birds or choosing a lighter jacket when I go out.

One of the best things about a change of season is our chance to change things up in our lives too, or at least to try to. Here are my top five spring time habits I do to welcome in the new season.

Sort your space out

Psychologically, there is nothing better than feeling like your living space is tidy. Research has shown that when we clean up our space, we experience a lowering of stress and anxiety levels, a sense of control, clarity and achievement, as well as improving our focus and productivity. It can also help if we are trying to move forward from past challenge or regret. What might be stopping you from starting your spring clean? If it’s a sense of overwhelm, just start small; if it’s procrastination, ask someone else to give you some support; if it’s lethargy, recognise that clearing your space may well give you some more energy.

Seasonal foods

We have got so used to eating what we want, when we want to, that the idea of eating seasonal vegetables and fruits has somewhat disappeared. But there are some benefits to eating seasonally, and not just for our health. Fruits and vegetables that have just been harvested are more likely to have a higher nutritional content – for example, nutrients like vitamin C content can rapidly decline when stored. Seasonal foods also tend to taste better, typically requiring less artificial fertilisers as they are growing in the right conditions. It can also be more environmentally friendly due to reduced food miles, and is more likely to be affordable. Cauliflower, kale, rhubarb, leeks and broccoli are all good April foods with a wealth of nutritional benefits including fibre (good for gut health), antioxidants (which reduce inflammation), vitamins and minerals (essential for a healthy body and mind).

Sleep

The days get longer and lighter, which is great for our mood, but we must also balance that against the springtime tendency to neglect our sleep. We may start socialising more with later nights; we may not have ensured our bedrooms are dark enough; or we may have a bit of a lag getting outside for more natural daylight which in turn can impact our circadian rhythm and melatonin (sleep hormone) levels. Take steps to make sure your bedroom is dark enough, look at your diary to ensure you are balancing late nights with early ones, and ensure that you try to take a walk outside every day if you can.

Sun protection

With so many months of dark and cold behind us, it is so tempting when the sun comes out to forget all of our common sense when it comes to sun exposure and to rush out in shorts, T-shirts and no hat for hours. Sunburn increases your risk of skin cancer and there is no healthy way to get a tan, even in the UK. Make sure you don’t burn by spending time in the shade between 11am and 3pm, using at least factor 30 sunscreen, using sunglasses and clothes that give you a bit of cover, especially if you are a pale, freckled soul like me!!

Sound

Sometimes all you need to do in springtime is to stop and listen. The sounds of spring can really help us to stay well. The dawn chorus – which peaks from March to July – or more specific individual birdsong, bees buzzing and the rustle of a breeze on leaves all have their impact. Some research has shown that high-frequency, complex and melody-based bird song can actually reduce blood pressure and allow us to gain more mental clarity, with the blackbird, song thrush, robin and wood thrush all being named.

It’s official…Spring has sprung!

The spring has always held a great deal of significance culturally as well as religiously and astrologically. Regardless of religion, Spring is universally seen and felt like a time of new life, positive change and renewal. In earlier times, this transition into spring was even classed as the New Year due to it being the season of regeneration and growth of plants and crops.

The history of this season is as intricate as it is fascinating. It is full of symbolism, myth and characters bound into the energy and abundance of the earth. For example, eggs have been associated with spring rituals for millennia. Ancient Egyptians, Persians, Romans, Gauls, and Chinese all embraced the egg as a symbol of the universe. An entire world and creation within the protection of its shell. Today, we gift chocolate versions, go hunting in the garden for them with children and still use them as a symbol for new life.

In pre-Christian Europe, people worshiped Eostre, the moon goddess of spring and fertility. Portrayed as standing among spring flowers and holding an egg in her hand with her sacred animal the hare. This hare laid eggs to honour her and we now know this sacred creature as, the Easter Bunny.

Spring Has Sprung

New life, growth, renewal and change. This season swings in after the darkness of winter with a flutter of feathers and reminds us better times lay ahead. It is no coincidence that during Spring Equinox we have urges to create radical change in our lives! From the simple clearing of cupboards and throwing out old clothes to make way for the new to planning big events, Spring gives us the boost to feel ready to take on what life throws at us.

Rituals for Spring Equinox

Clear The Way

Time to step away from everything the last year has thrown at you! Sometimes, it takes a truly conscious effort to remove obstacles out our path to clear the way for what’s ahead. Create a list of events from the last year that have caused you pain and upset and then light a candle, hold them over the flame and watch them burn away. If you can, use this time to talk to loved ones and share your ideas and experiences so that it never feels overwhelming.

Out With The Old

Is there anything more satisfying than a spring clean?! Turn on your favourite tunes, open the windows and let’s clear out the excess stuff! Spring Equinox isn’t just about letting go of the thoughts and feelings holding you back. The physical things and clutter in your home have an impact too!  Here are our spring cleaning tip tips

  • Take on just one room at a time!
  • Use it as a time to reconnect with your sentimental possessions and all the wonderful memories they hold.
  • Have a bag for collecting the items that can go to charity shops or women refuges ready.
  • Clean as you go.
  • Check out Marie Kuondo for some tips!

Time In Nature

The leaves are starting to come back, the daffodils are glowing yellow and the blossom is starting to peak through. There is so much new life and beauty around at this time of the year! Furthermore, Spring Equinox means the days are longer with extra sunlight for us to be outside earlier in the mornings and later into the evenings. The abundance and new life in Spring is most evident in nature so, make sure you spend some time reconnecting with the natural world around you.

  • Wake up for sunrise, wrap up and sit with your morning tea or coffee and listen to the birds call in the new day.
  • Take a walking meditation. Slowly walk around your local park or woodland and tune into noticing the smaller details of the natural world you would otherwise miss.
  • Plant something. Whether it’s a new herb for your windowsill or flowers in your garden, get your hands into the dirt and nurture new life by growing something.
  • Create a wildlife haven in your outdoor space. A birdbath, feeder or insect hotel is not only helping wildlife but is great fun, especially with children.

Spring Forward

Now you have cleared the way, it is time to look forward! If you find you struggle with New Year’s resolutions in January then use this astrological New Year at Spring Equinox as your time instead. We always feel far more positive and focused on the challenges that lay ahead once the darkest months have passed.

  • Make a list of all the things you want to achieve this year. Remember, there is nothing wrong with wanting! Sit with that list and think and reflect on all the ways you can make them possible to achieve! Positive action will get you there.
  • Create a vision board. Not only does making something feel really fulfilling but your vision board will then be a visual reminder of your hopes and dreams for the year ahead. Even better, do this with friends and share those thoughts as you go!
  • Set an intention. A single word or short phrase that can become your own personal Mantra.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is complicated.

All week, I’ve listened to the ads and deleted an endless stream of promo emails — bedding, perfume, candles, magazine subscriptions, tech gifts “for Mum.” Honestly? I’ve had enough.

I do get to celebrate Mother’s Day — and I’m hugely grateful for that. But I’ve got friends who’ve lost their mum.  and for them and many others, it’s tough. They’re not the only ones who find that this weekend stirs up a storm of emotion.

Mother’s Day can feel like a lot — especially when your experience of mothering doesn’t match the shiny, sentimental version being flung at us from every direction.

Not everyone has a mum.
Not everyone can be a mum.
Not everyone has the kind of relationship they longed for — with their mum, or with their children.

And in a world that still struggles to talk openly about grief, infertility, estrangement, or loss, days like this can feel especially cruel.

We scroll through curated captions.
We see the lucky ones — burnt toast in bed, bunches of flowers, homemade cards — and quietly ache for what we don’t have.
A family brunch. A child’s hug. A mum to ring.

For some, it’s fresh grief. For others, it’s been decades. For many, it’s just… complicated.

Research suggests that one in four families in the UK and US are now experiencing some form of estrangement. That’s a staggering number — and a powerful reminder that we need to tread gently through days like this. Especially in workplaces.

So no, I’m not saying don’t share your joy.
Please do — revel in your plans, your people, your pride.
Just maybe… don’t shout it from the rooftops.
And spare a thought for the many who are feeling their way through this weekend with quiet strength, tender grief, or longing for relationships they’ve lost — or never had.

If this weekend is hard for you, I feel for you.
You are not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re human.

Motherhood, like so much in life, isn’t one-size-fits-all. And neither is the way we feel about days like this.

Time to put a spring in your step

If your new year mojo already seems a long way behind you, you’re not alone. The “February slump” is easily explainable; the cumulative effects of winter, the respite of the festive break well and truly forgotten, and the dreary weather not helping.

This month marks the spring equinox, the astronomical start of Spring. Perhaps now is the time to implement some changes to help us feel more energised?  Sometimes this is sensible, especially if we feel like hibernating, but sometimes we can feel impatient for the energy of a new start, and that impatience can soon turn into frustration. Instead of waiting for external factors to change, there are some simple habits that we can adopt right now to help us feel more optimistic, more energetic and like we are actually making some progress.

They are some simple, positive strategies and once we start using them, they can open up a whole new perspective, as well as make us feel better instantaneously.

We may not be able to change all the big things, but we can do the little things that not only help us to prepare for bigger changes later, but that also give us the momentum to pick ourselves up out of that February Funk, and with spring officially here (at least according to the stars!) it is the perfect time to create some new beginning energy.

Say yes

So often in life we get into the habit of saying no. Sometimes a “No” is useful to conserve our energy and to ensure we put our focus on what we need. But, too many Nos can mean we get stuck in rigid patterns, and that we get bored and demotivated. Try for the rest of this month to say yes to things; a new opportunity at work, a social event, an activity with friends, to chatting to someone new, to a suggestion. See what it brings you; it may help you to learn something about yourself, to meet new people and to try new things. Research shows that doing things that are out of our comfort zone allow us to build confidence, self-esteem, a sense of belonging and to enlarge our support network. See everything as an adventure and a “what if?” and see where it takes you. Wherever it is, it will always be sprinkled with new beginning energy.

Say thank you

Science has shown consistently that gratitude improves our wellbeing; it reduces stress, and it boosts our good-feeling chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. There has also been some evidence that it strengthens our immune system and reduces inflammation in our bodies, as well as strengthening our relationships, a key safety net for our health. It is all too easy to allow our neural pathways (the brain cell networks) to be used to negative statements, thoughts and expectations. But we can break a habit and rewire our brains to focus on being thankful, for noticing the good stuff and vocalising appreciation. Saying thank you to people around you sparks a lot of new beginning energy; it allows that person to feel good and reciprocate, it opens up conversations and behaviours that mean you spend more time together, and it allows a different dynamic to exist between you and the world. It is amazing what opportunities may come from shifting your mindset from what you haven’t got, to what you have. Being grateful can also mean that you don’t approach opportunities with the energy of scarcity and pressure that the outcome must be successful, which can change the very outcome itself.

Tidy up

New beginning energy can come from inside you when you choose to tidy up old chapters, issues and tensions. You can get a lot of relief by sorting out old arguments, taking responsibility for your part in something, saying sorry, or forgiving someone. Take a bit of time this month to sort out anything from the past which is still on your mind. In doing so, you will be ready to invite that new beginning energy into your mind and your life. The same applies to your physical space; sorting out wardrobes, giving things you no longer want to charity, organising any mess in your home, and giving everything a bit of a once-over can really help your psyche to be ready for new starts.

Use the ‘fresh start’ effect

When we anticipate a new chapter, we can benefit from what psychologists call the “fresh start effect”. Just anticipating a new start can actually increase our motivation for goal-setting and pursuit. Take a bit of time this month to work out what kind of fresh start you want and why you would like to bring it into your life; get specific, what would be the advantages/what are the obstacles/what actions might you have to take to get there? When we write things down and get focused on them, we are much more likely to take action towards them.

Thinking about setting a resolution?

As the ew year approaches, so will the desire to reinvent ourselves – maybe this is the year to get outside, drink less, eat healthier. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s the year to practice rest and restoration.

Taking time to identify and lay out goals over the holiday season is a time honored tradition, and touches on the work licensed clinical psychologists do with patients every day. To enjoy success – however you define it – psychologists say the best changes are personal, start small and tackle expectations – our own, and those we might have internalized.

“One of my favorite phrases in therapy, which is just kind of meant to be a little bit silly, is ‘stop should-ing on yourself’,” said Jennifer Caspari, an associate psychologist and cognitive behavioral therapist in Colorado. What she means, she said, is to, “sit down and strip away that sense of ‘should’,” and instead focus on the values you feel are important.

“A very common example of that is people think they should value fitness,” said Caspari. “That is genuinely important to some people – and genuinely not important to others.”

One of the exercises she uses in her own practice is to give people a list of value-based words – such as achievement, curiosity, or independence – and then define what the words mean to the individual. If it feels like that value isn’t being fulfilled, then perhaps it’s time to make a plan to change that. Using the value of curiosity as an example, that could involve reading a book, taking a class or going to the library once a month; those steps are all attainable and specific.

This approach mirrors “Smart” goal-setting – an acronym that stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound. If that sounds corporate, it is. The goals were first developed by a management consultant in the 1980s. The strategy is ubiquitous, but also widely criticized for being outcome-oriented.

It can also be helpful, said licensed clinical psychologist Molly Sherb, to start with something less specific, but informed by your own needs.

“The new year’s resolution you’re setting now should be aligned with what you’re doing now,” said Sherb. “Maybe it should be getting outside now. It may be you’re feeling bored or flat, so want to try something new.”

Either way, it should focus on the now and “be shorter-term rather than something you set for the entire year”.

Although it may be counterintuitive, setting goals that are relatively small changes can lead to the greatest success.

“You want to make sure you’re starting with what feels easiest, which I think is a little bit counterintuitive,” said Sherb. “But the reason you want to start with what’s easiest is you want to feel that sense of achievement, of success – because that’s going to keep you motivated to do the harder things down the road.”

In all cases, the goal of setting the goal should be to get in touch with yourself, your values and your own needs today, both Sherb and Caspari said.

“New year’s resolutions are very manufactured pressure to change, but anytime is a good time to make a change,” said Sherb. “If it doesn’t feel right for you, if you don’t have the bandwidth,” then, “Let yourself settle into the new year.”

And remember: “It’s also an option in February, March, April, May and July.”