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In a world where you can be anything, be kind

by Dr Elaine Beaumont

(lecturer, psychotherapist and co-author of The Kindness Workbook)

Elaine explores the meaning of ‘acts of kindness’, using extracts from the book which was co-written with Mary Welford.

If you look up the word ‘kindness’ you’ll probably find something along the lines of: ‘the quality or act of being helpful, caring, considerate, generous, gentle and thoughtful’. So, kindness is:

  • Caring for ourselves and other people
  • Doing things that are helpful and improve the wellbeing of ourselves and others
  • Being considerate of our own needs and the needs of other people
  • Being gentle, patient and tolerant of ourselves and others

It’s common for us to show more kindness to others and receive more kindness from others, than show kindness to ourselves. However, learning to be kind to ourselves, although difficult at times, can boost wellbeing. If you’re kind to yourself (and therefore less critical) you’re likely to:

  • Feel more confident
  • Do the things you’ve always wanted to do
  • Be more assertive and stick up for what you believe in
  • Challenge yourself
  • Learn from your mistakes (rather than avoid making them)
  • Take part in activities you once enjoyed (or new activities you want to try)
  • Experience less anxiety, low mood and/or frustration

The popular legend of the Two Wolves is a nice example that demonstrates how we all have internal battles going on inside us. The good news is that you can learn to feed the kind, compassionate, generous you.

The Two Wolves

One evening a grandfather was teaching his young grandchildren about the internal battles each one of us faces. ‘There are two wolves fighting inside each of us,’ he said. ‘One wolf is vengeful, angry, resentful, self-pitying and scared . . . the other wolf is compassionate, joyful, generous, kind, faithful, hopeful and caring . . .’ The children thought about this for a moment or so and one asked: ‘Which wolf wins, Grandfather?’

The grandfather smiled a knowing smile and replied, ‘The one you feed.’

Covid-19 and being kind

One thing that has stood out to many of us during the pandemic is how much kindness and compassion has made a difference.  Captain Sir Tom Moore and Marcus Rashford really helped lift the nation’s spirits and had a positive impact on many people’s lives. Even small acts of kindness can boost people’s mood. For example, a neighbour of mine put notes through letter boxes offering to help people with their grocery shopping. A small gesture (in comparison to the achievements of the likes of Marcus Rashford), but nonetheless ‘kindness in action’.

17th February 2022 is Random Acts of Kindness Day – can you think of an act of kindness you can do for yourself or for somebody else? Can you look in the mirror and say something kind to yourself or remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can right now? Can you compliment a stranger, a neighbour or someone you care about? Being kind to others also make us feel good too.

Acts of Kindness

Here are a few examples of how we can show ourselves and other people kindness.

Small Acts of Kindness
 

€      Ask a friend how they are doing

€      Cook a healthy meal for yourself

€      Smile and say hello to somebody

€      Be mindful of how much sleep you need

€      Make a card for yourself or somebody else

€      Send a nice text message to somebody who is sad or struggling

€      Look in the mirror and say something kind to yourself

€      Practice mindfulness

€      Write a note to yourself about 3 things you are grateful for

€      Ask someone how their day has been

€      Say well done to somebody who has done a good job

€      Do something kind for yourself

€      Give yourself and somebody else a compliment

€      Say thank you to somebody who has done something for you

€      Add a supportive and kind comment on social media

€      Take a break from social media if that would be a kind thing to do for yourself

Being kind to yourself is sometimes easier said than done but there are a number of techniques and skills you can practice that can help you tone up your kindness skills. The charity, Anxiety UK has created the K.I.N.D.N.E.S.S mnemonic for people to use as a reminder to be kind to themselves and others. The memory aid is a prompt to help people focus on the key (kindness) ingredients that help build and maintain physical and mental health. The “kindness ingredients” are:

  • Keep learning
  • Interact
  • Notice
  • Decide
  • Nurture
  • Exercise
  • Self-care
  • Support others

 

Sometimes, it’s the little things

For many people, the New Year feels like a fresh start. With the slate wiped clean, it’s an ideal time to spruce up our lives. So we make resolutions to lose weight, to play the piano daily, to learn Mandarin. These vows are an ancient practice: The Babylonians and the Romans also made solemn promises to their gods at New Year’s, though they may have been no better at fulfilling their resolutions than we are now.

We typically throw ourselves into life-changing pursuits with unbridled enthusiasm — for about a week or two. Then we find ourselves halfway through a dinner-plate-size cookie at the coffee shop or lounging in front of the TV, having “forgotten” the scheduled language class or the workout. After this comes the self-reproach: Why do I even try?

Fewer than one in 10 of us actually keeps resolutions, according to University of Scranton research. The reasons have less to do with a failure of character or consistency than with unrealistic resolution-making and inadequate resolution-keeping techniques, says Zen teacher and author Cheri Huber. Her insights can help make your New Year’s vows more achievable, less stressful, and even more fun.

Challenges to Overcome

  • Holiday guilt. One of the biggest problems with New Year’s resolutions is that they come at the end of a season when you tend to yield to your cravings. “During the holidays, your overindulgence has broken the structures that support you in being the person you want to be, so you feel guilty and are hard on yourself,” Huber says. “Now’s the time, you think, to really clean up your act.”
  • The rebellious negative. We’re inclined to assert our autonomy by breaking rules — even ones we set for ourselves. “Often, ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘I don’t feel like it’ is much stronger in people than ‘I want to,’ ” she explains. “It’s our ego talking us into doing things that we are going to feel bad about later.”
  • Unrealistic expectations. Resolving to finish a marathon after training for two weeks is unmistakably impractical. But self-deception can also sneak into our most pragmatic intentions: “We have a problem if we make resolutions that are completely counter to our day-to-day choices,” Huber asserts. “If I have an ingrained habit of drinking a Frappuccino every morning and then vow to stop drinking anything sweet in the morning altogether, I’m going to rebel, and then the power of the negative is going to kick in.”
  • Magical thinking. “We hope that making a resolution at New Year’s will have a magical effect,” she says, “and that magic will somehow overcome our resistance.” But overcoming habits almost always requires a series of carefully considered steps.
  • Forgetting. “At our meditation center, we regularly check in with people on the vows and decisions they’ve made,” Huber notes, “and it’s amazing how often they say, ‘Uh, what did I decide?’” She adds that the more far-fetched a resolution is, the more likely it is to simply slip our minds.
  • Feeling better. You feel good after practicing guitar every day for a week, then you lose focus. Or after dropping some weight, you reward yourself — with a doughnut. The moment we’re no longer motivated by misery, says Huber, is often the moment we’re in danger of forgetting our resolve.

Strategies for Success

  • Make small resolutions. “Don’t let the voices in your head talk you into something extreme that is just going to set up another failure,” says Huber. Instead of vowing to lose 20 pounds, commit to 5. Instead of resolving to give up all sugar, start by replacing your daily pastry with a banana and almond butter. “Wholesale change almost never works,” she says. “But incremental changes do — and then you build on them.”
  • Celebrate little successes. If you vow to lose 5 pounds or practice yoga five days in a row, Huber believes that’s five chances to praise yourself. “Celebrate each lost pound — or each day you stay on your training regimen,” she recommends. These celebrations don’t have to be a big deal. You could listen to a podcast you’ve been saving, or treat yourself to a box of fancy tea.
  • Enjoy the process. Huber suggests that if you’re having fun during the first five days, you’re more likely to say to yourself, Hey, I might really enjoy practicing yoga these next five days, too.
  • Be accountable to someone. “Finding somebody outside of yourself who can keep you on track can really help,” Huber advises. Join a class, get a coach, or partner with a friend. Accountability can make all the difference.
  • Listen to yourself. Make a recording of yourself stating your goals, and listen to it every morning, she suggests. You can also write your resolution down on a daily calendar as a memory prompt.
  • Go for positive change. If you’re discouraged by past resolutions gone wrong, try simply setting some good intentions: Write down things you’re grateful for once a week. Make a list of friends you’ve missed and contact them to make dinner plans. These changes will have plenty of positive impacts on your life while steering you clear of the achievement conundrum — because you can’t fail at them.
  • Cultivate self-kindness. “All change is easier if we are kind to ourselves,” Huber says, because self-kindness isn’t the same as self-indulgence — that’s more ego-driven and rebellious. “Kindness to ourselves is doing those things we know we will never regret.”

Blue Monday

It doesn’t take a genius to work out why January might be a rubbish month.

For some, the anti-climax of Christmas will have brought looming bills and the departure of loved ones, while others will have to contend with grey, cold weather while taking on New Years resolutions that bring about more boredom than satisfaction. These rubbish feelings all form part of one timelessly controversial calculation: the Blue Monday formula. The formula claims to calculate the most depressing day of the year, and typically puts it at the third Monday in January. But how much scientific clout is behind the theory, and why is it such a big hit in marketing circles?

Time to book a break

The Blue Monday formula was created by Cliff Arnall. Arnall, who was a psychologist at the time, was contacted by now-defunct TV channel Sky Travel. “Sky Travel asked me what I thought was the best day to book a summer holiday.  That question got legs as I considered the motives for why people wanted to book such a holiday.  That’s how we ended up with the most depressing day of the year, Blue Monday,” Arnall said. “I had no idea the formula was going to take off like it has.” 

Fourteen years later, the idea of Blue Monday has travelled across the world, infuriating scientists and giving marketing departments a chance to boost the post-Christmas sales figures.

‘Pseudo-science’

The formula takes into account the following factors: weather conditions, debt level (the difference between debt accumulated and our ability to pay), time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action.

As one scientist noted to Broadly, adding weather to debt is as useful as “add your running speed to the colour of an apple”.

“These scientific equations are unscientifically informative, and driven by money,” wrote doctor and critic of bad science Ben Goldace in The Guardian in 2016. “It is corrosive, meaningless, empty, bogus nonsense that serves only to caricature and undermine science.”

Mental health marketing

But though the theory was debunked just a year after it was created, it is going strong fourteen years later.

And the formula – which has travelled around the globe and has been written about in publications ranging from USA Today to Bradford Telegraph and Argus is still being treated as gospel by some.

Mental health charity Mind have actively decided to distance themselves from the formula, saying that it “trivialises” people with mental health issues.

Philippa Bradnock, information manager says “The third Monday in January is often dubbed ‘Blue Monday’, the so-called most depressing day of the year. Despite the fact the phrase originates from an advertising campaign and there is no credible evidence to show that one day in particular can increase the risk of people feeling depressed, the myth of Blue Monday continues to persist.”

Time to move on

As companies line up to sell their wares on Blue Monday, one marketing expert thinks it’s time for them to knock the formula on the head.

Chris Daly, CEO at the Chartered Institute of Marketing said: “As marketing professionals, we must also reflect and ask ourselves whether news hooks like these still serve the best interests of our customers and their expectations. We know that increasingly consumers are interested in brands doing good – and while topical discounts and offers may boost reputation in the short-term, there’s growing concerns from consumers that the day trivialises issues relating to mental health.”

“Marketers should be careful about alienating their customer base by pinning promotions or social content to Blue Monday. More consideration is needed otherwise it is seen as just adding to the noise.”

My view? January is a tough month, especially these days. Shame on those who monetise misery.

It’s the little things that count

We are constantly talking about the importance of creating new healthy habits. In fact, one of mr favorite sayings is “It’s the ordinary things we do on a daily basis that have an extraordinary healing effect.” It is true! You can’t meditate one day, get one 8-hour night of sleep, eat one low-carb meal – and expect to address the imbalances in your body. But if you start meditating, sleeping, eating more healthily on a regular basis, then you will start to see impactful changes.

Creating a new healthy habit – a regular practice that is hard to give up – is the best way to tackle any health goal. We are looking for sustainable lifestyle upgrades that stick!

Where do you start to create a new daily habit?

  1. Dig into why you want to start a new habit – this will motivate you!
  2. Define your goal – let’s say, start a daily meditation practice
  3. Break it down into doable steps – start with 2 minutes each day
  4. Pick a time – or better yet, an already established habit in your day – meditate for 2 minutes every day after you brush your teeth
  5. Commit to the new habit – you defined your goal for 2 minutes every day – stick to 2 minutes, if you go over great, but it’s unnecessary

Don’t take on too many new habits at once. But when you feel confident, move on to a new habit and run through all the steps – Why, What, How, Where, Commit. What will be next? Keep hacking away at it…every damn day!

It’s official! Winter starts here.

To steal a line from Game of Thrones, ‘Winter is coming’ because today  is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day and the longest night and, the official start of the fourth season. But, the good news is, from here on in, the days slowly get longer and we emerge, yawning and stretching into Spring. I love this poem by Rebecca Parker which sums up the slow, yin energy of the season. A time to slow down; for introspection and rest.

Perhaps
for a moment
the typewriters will stop clicking,
the wheels stop rolling
the computers desist from computing,
and a hush will fall over the city.
For an instant, in the stillness,
the chiming of the celestial spheres will be heard
as earth hangs poised
in the crystalline darkness, and then
gracefully
tilts.
Let there be a season
when holiness is heard, and
the splendor of living is revealed.
Stunned to stillness by beauty
we remember who we are and why we are here.
There are inexplicable mysteries.
We are not alone.
In the universe there moves a Wild One
whose gestures alter earth’s axis
toward love.
In the immense darkness
everything spins with joy.
The cosmos enfolds us.
We are caught in a web of stars,
cradled in a swaying embrace,
rocked by the holy night,
babes of the universe.
Let this be the time
we wake to life,
like spring wakes, in the moment
of winter solstice.

Have yourself a mindful little Christmas

Not feeling particularly cheery this time of year? You’re not alone. Many find that the holidays bring as much stress as they do joy. But there are ways to ease through the season. To help make the most of your festivities, Neda Gould, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of the Johns Hopkins Mindfulness Program at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, shares some mindful tips.

What is mindfulness? “Mindfulness is bringing your attention to the present moment with an element of nonjudgment and acceptance. It is noticing when we get caught up in thoughts about the past or the future, and returning our attention to the present — the only reality,” explains Gould.

While mindfulness can be a formal meditation practice, there are also informal ways to practice this skill. This can give us perspective and decrease stress.

Gould shares four ways to make your holidays brighter:

1. Accept Imperfection

Can good be good enough? “As we gear up for the holidays, we often set the bar impossibly high for ourselves and then feel upset when our celebrations don’t live up to expectations,” says Gould.

Before you start preparing, acknowledge that things may not go exactly as planned. “It’s OK if it’s not perfect. Imperfection is healthy and normal. For some of us, it might just take a little practice,” reminds Gould.

2. Don’t Lose Sight of What Really Counts

With long lines and nasty traffic, the holidays can get hectic. When overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle, ask yourself:

  • Where does this fit in the grand scheme of things? If you’re frustrated by the long grocery line you’re standing in, remember that it is just a long grocery line — nothing more. Don’t let it spoil your afternoon.
  • Can I use this moment of frustration as an opportunity to reflect?While the cashier rings up the customers ahead of you, take inventory of the good things that have happened today or the things you are grateful for.
  • Even if this moment seems stressful, can I find a way to make it pleasant? Connect with someone else in line with a compliment or kind gesture, or notice what’s around you with fresh eyes and an open mind.

3. Respond with Kindness

You can’t change how others act during the stresses of the holiday season, but you can change how you respond to situations:

  • “Whenever I encounter a difficult person, I tell myself, ‘this person is suffering, and that’s why they’re acting this way.’ It softens my frustration, helps me be more compassionate and reminds me that it’s not personal,” says Gould.
  • Keep in mind that the holidays are especially difficult for those who are alone. See if you can extend an act of kindness to those you know are without family and friends during this time of year.
  • If things do get tense with someone, take a few deep breaths. “Those few breaths can shift things and give you new perspective,” says Gould.

4. Rethink Your Resolutions

“Typical New Year’s resolutions set you up for failure,” warns Gould. If you want to better yourself in the New Year, follow these tips for success:

  • Start small. Break your goal into tinier steps over the course of the year. If weight loss is your goal, it doesn’t have to be drastic. Try to eat more veggies during your first month and gradually cut back on sweets throughout the next, suggests Gould.
  • Be kind to yourself. If you didn’t achieve last year’s resolution or stray from the path this time around, let it go. “We often contrive these stories (‘I’m never going to quit smoking!’) that only add to our distress,” says Gould. “With practice, we can notice this self-critic, let go of that negativity and pick our goals back up without the guilt or shame.”

Time to let go and fall into autumn

Moving out of the fire of Summer and towards the colder, windier and altogether more changeable Autumn is nature’s metaphorical signal to prepare for cold and cosy months ahead. At the end of September, the Northern hemisphere enters the autumn equinox and officially transitions into an entirely different part of the year. With the sun appearing to head south, plants pause their growth and begin to shed their leaves. The air is laced with a noticeably different scent to that of previous months, and the dark nights creep slowly longer and longer.

Whether you love the beginning of autumn or long for sunnier days, there’s no denying; This is part of the earth’s natural cycle. And as a part of nature itself, we’d all benefit from aligning ourselves with the shifting energy. As the name suggests, an equinox – derived from the Old French equinoxe meaning ‘equal night’ – occurs when day and night are of equal length, perfectly balanced, before tipping over into the next season. Pagan mythology knows this time of year as Mabon or ‘Second Harvest’. A time to give thanks to the Summer and pay tribute to the coming darkness. Apple picking and gathering together to feast on seasonal fare are some of the longest held Pagan traditions, with the apple representing wisdom and guidance, and providing a way to thank the earth for its bounty.

With the external equilibrium of light and darkness obvious to the naked eye, this is also an important time to perhaps recognise and pay tribute to our own light and darkness within. Just as the earth moves through cycles, each day and even each moment is a cycle within itself. We can move through a multitude of emotions at any given time, experience a flood of thoughts cascading through the mind, and feel cyclical patterns within our physical bodies too.

Time to slow down!

Physically, energetically, and mentally, late summer is a time when life should be easy and we should aim for the middle path. Not always simple to achieve when this season can actually get quite busy! Follow along below for a few easy ways to bring more late summer self-care into your life.

Physically, energetically, and mentally, late summer is a time when life should be easy and we should aim for the middle path. Not always simple to achieve when this season can actually get quite busy! Follow along below for a few easy ways to bring more late summer self-care into your life.

The Late Summer and The Earth Element

earth-element.jpg

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), there are five elements – Metal, Wood Water, Fire and Earth. Each of these elements are linked to a season of the year. If you are wondering how this could be, when there are only four seasons, this because in TCM, there is a fifth season: Late Summer. This is the season of the Earth element.

Beginning in late August and ending during September at the Autumn Equinox, this short season is of particular importance because it marks the transition from the yang into the yin time of the year. We can often feel this shift ourselves with noticeable changes in the light and air, and even in the kinds of foods our body might crave.

The late summer is connected to the earth element and is a short season marking the transition between yang (spring and summer) and yin (autumn and winter).

Late summer is a crucial time of transformation, harvest, and nourishment. The Chinese character for the earth element (pictured above) expresses two important aspects of the earth element. The top horizontal line portrays the top of the soil (nourishment), and the bottom line represents the undersoil or bedrock (stability). Our central task with the earth phase of the cycle is to build stability, create balance, and reap the abundance that’s on offer.

The organs of Late Summer are the Stomach and Spleen. The food we eat is one of the ways Qi comes into the body (known as grain Qi). The Stomach (yang organ) is known as ‘the Sea of Nourishment’ due to its crucial role in digestion and it works alongside the Spleen (yin organ) to achieve this.  In Chinese Medicine, the Stomach and Spleen also supply nourishment to our minds as well as emotional and physical stability.

Being the proverbial worry wort, I was interested to discover that the emotion associated with the Earth element is worry; the unending stream of thoughts about anything and everything that could go wrong. But, we can find stability and balance to support the Earth element through our yoga and our lifestyle.

This means taking into account a balance between giving and receiving. Nourishing practices like Yin and Restorative Yoga are very grounding. Practicing lovingkindness towards yourself as well as to others to enhance self-worth is equally supportive.

So, this Late Summer reflect on how you are nourishing yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally and consider incorporating some yin yoga into your life. This is not to say that yang, or more active practices are bad. We need both yang and yin to be in harmony in our bodies and minds. When we have this harmony, then contentment, better health and happiness can follow.

Happy New Year (yup, you read that correctly!)

In the world of wellbeing, September seems to be the new January these days – with good reason. It’s a far better time of year for a health reset than the freezing winter months. In September you can smell the back-to-work vibe in the air as children return to school and routine is somewhat restored. Plus, you don’t have to wrap up in multiple layers or face depressingly dark mornings when you leave the house.

This September, I feel, will be a big one. As mask wearing begins to lift and a slither of normality returns, we are left staggering through the aftermath of the past 18 months. Even aside from the actual virus, the pandemic has taken its toll on our general wellbeing. And as we emerge from survival mode, we start to look at ourselves again. You may have got into comfort drinking habits; perhaps you have fallen off the exercise wagon or lie in bed until 8.48am because your home working day starts at 9am. Whatever you want to change, here are some small steps to tackle Covid-induced bad habits.

1 Be kind to yourself

Don’t beat yourself up. ‘Remain compassionate with yourself,’ says Kathryn Dombrowicz, psychotherapist and addictions specialist at mental health clinic thesoke.uk. ‘We have been through tough times and lost structure in our lives. It’s natural that we have wanted to make ourselves feel better in a time of anxiety,’ she says.

 September is a good time of year for a wellbeing reset

2 Take baby steps

‘It can be overwhelming to tackle everything at once,’ says nutritional therapist Nicola Moore (nicola-moore.com). ‘Start with the one thing that’s bothering you most and focus on that. Consistency, not striving for perfection, is the healthiest way to make changes.’

3 B.L.A.S.T bad habits

A habit is something we do again and again to the point where we are not actually experiencing it any more but going through the motions. You can break the pattern by consciously interrupting that habit. Kathryn uses the B.L.A.S.T. technique. ‘Ask yourself if you are bored, lonely, angry, stressed or tired,’ she says. ‘Then think of healthier ways you can nurture yourself instead.’

4 Don’t ditch ‘drink o’clock’

It could be that your daily glass of wine (or two) is more to do with the ritual of drinking and what that signifies emotionally rather than the drink itself, explains Nicola. ‘You don’t have to ditch that time in the day when you enjoy a relaxing drink,’ she says. ‘But try replacing it with something non-alcoholic while keeping everything else the same. Keep the wine glass and connect to the act of drinking it, which can elicit the same good feelings as you’d get from a glass of wine.’

5 Don’t go OTT on exercise

Going from sofa surfer to gym bunny will set yourself up to fail. Instead, says Kathryn, walk for 20 minutes four times a week. The next week, add an exercise class or make the walk longer. Doing something is better than nothing and a daily short walk will have an instant impact on your wellbeing.

6 Replace bad habits with good

‘By repeating a bad habit you will have created a neural pathway,’ says Kathryn. ‘You can override it with a positive habit by keeping at it,’ she says. ‘Some studies say it takes 21 days to break a habit, others say 40. I think it’s somewhere in the middle.’

Keep it simple!

It goes without saying: life can be hard. But we also tend to make it harder than it needs to be. On top of those difficulties that we don’t have any control over (pandemics, job losses), we pile on extra difficulties (packed schedules, non-stop goal-chasing, endless doom-scrolling) until we’re crushed by the overwhelm.

So why would we want to make our lives harder? It’s not necessarily a conscious decision – it has just become our default setting. ‘The modern world complicates things for us,’ says Dr Tara Swart, neuroscientist and author of The Source. ‘Over time, the amount of overload we’ve had to deal with has increased, and we’ve defaulted to meet that demand.’

With the onslaught of social media and the glorification of being busy, it’s unsurprising. And even though life has been pared back during the pandemic, we’re so accustomed to that ‘more, more, more’ setting, that it can be hard to switch it off. ‘Whatever you have to do expands to fill the time available,’ says Swart. ‘Many of us gained hours in the day we would’ve spent commuting, but this ended up blurring into a longer work day. It’s partly our perception that life is busy and complicated, and we often feel overwhelmed whether we actually have more to do or not.’

‘Overwhelm and over-complication leave us feeling ill and tired,’ says Swart. ‘Your mental, emotional and physical health is all connected. Simplifying your life can result in more energy, less fatigue, increased resilience and improved immunity.’

So, as we emerge back into some semblance of ‘normality’, how can we streamline our days and live in a way that feels easy and effortless? It’s all about finding small ways to reduce unnecessary clogs in our brains.

8 WAYS TO SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

1. CHOP UP YOUR CHORES

We spend way too much time procrastinating over tasks that could be done pretty quickly. Enter the much raved-about Pomodoro Technique, which can be used for anything from work projects, to clearing out the garage. Here’s how it works:

– Choose a task, minimise distractions and place a blank piece of paper or a notebook nearby.

– Set a timer for 25 minutes. It’s just 25 minutes, right? Focus solely on your task until the timer runs out. No interruptions or distractions allowed. If you suddenly realise you have something else you need to do, write it down.

– Make a check on the paper, and take a break. Give yourself 5 minutes to stretch or check your phone. If the 25 minutes got you in your zone, you may be tempted to power through. Resist! Your brain needs to regroup.

– Repeat until you’ve made three or four checks, then take a longer break for 20 or 30 minutes. Repeat until you’ve finished the task.

TOP TIP: ‘Before you go to bed, write down the thing you’re dreading most about the next day, then do that as soon as you wake up,’ says Tara Swart. ‘Getting the thing that is draining you out of the way is really good tactic for reducing stress.’

2. INTEGRATE MINDFULNESS INTO YOUR DAY

Mindfulness doesn’t need to mean sitting in the lotus position for an hour – Swart says you can find little pieces of mindfulness throughout the day. ‘You can try mindful eating at mealtimes, which means pausing before each mouthful, and tuning in to the taste of food, without distractions like phones or TV. Or, when you’re talking to a relative, giving them your full attention and eye contact. You can focus on your breath at any time of the day, even if walking around, speaking, or working at your laptop.’ Why? ‘Mindfulness helps you regulate your emotions, and simplifies things for your brain, by narrowing your focus,’ says Swart.